Identity Loss
by Broadwaypoetess
Summary: After Sportacus 10 comes to LazyTown, he has a conversation with his mother. Spoilers refering to discarded plot points once on LT site


_Disclaimer: I just got hooked and haven't seen many episodes, but I did look up a lot info on the show. Anyway, this is one of those pesky "Sportacus origin" fics that includes stuff like… his first name, who his mom is. Takes place after when Sportacus comes to LazyTown during the first episode. Late night scene._

**Identity Loss**

"Hello."

There was a profound awkwardness and uncertainty in that one word that trembled the silence. _Hello_, a familiar greeting, between strangers, between friends, between family. And he didn't know whom he was addressing until the silence grew and he studied her.

"Hello, Mom," he said, this time stronger. That was her, wasn't it? Her hair had changed from it's vibrant red to a bluish-gray. She seemed colder now, but, of course, he was gone for years.

"You are back," she stared at him. He had changed. He was stronger, taller, more muscular, skin darker, developed a slight accent, but he had his father's eyes. He seemed so foreign now.

"I've missed you, Mom," he paused, looking about the house. Everything seemed so small, but then again, the North changes you. He glimpsed Robert earlier today. Sloth had changed him. His own genius had changed him, made him almost unrecognizable. But Robert still had his prominent chin, still had his bright eyes. He wanted to voice his thoughts to his mother on how people change once they leave LazyTown and how they are so different when they return, but she had never left the town for long.

"Leave," her fists clenched and a muscle in her jaw tightened, "Get out. You're not needed here."

He almost grinned sheepishly, "The Mayor called for me."

"If the Mayor called for the moon would it come see him!"

"No, Mom, but… I really have missed you, and it was my time to return. I felt it."

"And when will my husband, your father, come home, Alex? Or, Sportacus, or whatever you call yourself!"

"Mom, I'm your son."

"I have no son. He died and left me when he was fifteen."

"Mom, I felt that I had to-"

"That's what your father said! He stayed for years, he was young, just a boy like you are now! He said that when he was a baby, like you were a baby, he felt he had to go. And he came back! And I was young and worshiped him! I married him and he left like you left! And he returned for a summer, spoke to you and left! And he gave himself that same ridiculous name!"

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. He closed his eyes, "Sportacus 9 was my father?"

Her lip trembled angrily, "Benjamin D'Goode was your father. No, he was Alex's father. He was my husband. And he left me because he felt that hideous North calling him again! I tried to protect you, I tried to raise you, half-hoping he would return. I was only twenty, I was so naïve. He knew my parents; he helped introduce them to it all. He was my teacher, and I thought he was perfect! He married me when he was over fifty, did I care? Did I care that there were thirty years between us? No. I idolized him, and I wanted a child to be just like him—and he left! He went back, only to return to convert you…!"

She shook angrily now and tears were beginning to flow, "Will you leave, so I won't have to see you take babies away from their mothers?"

"I'm bringing them hope, happiness… life itself."

"But you kill everytime," she turned away and cried. Alex made a move to touch her shoulder, but stopped himself.

"What happened to my husband?"

Alex licked his lips and looked at the ceiling for an answer.

"Will you tell me or won't you?" she snapped.

"He died. Spor – Benjamin, he died."

She sniffled and then, "How?"

"His age. Over 80. It wasn't… painful. He just, didn't wake up one morning. He wasn't sick, just, was losing his strength."

She turned around, "When?"

"Last night. I didn't come just because the mayor wanted me to. I wanted… some people to pay their respects."

"To go North?" there was almost a sneer.

"No, it's sacred… only… only the chosen ones can go. I meant like… just a few speeches for him... The North… the chosen… We are taught here when we are young. Then, we leave, when we are a few years older. We go North. And then, we come here to stay, until we need to travel North. To get energy. To heal. This place… it can hurt you. Then we come back for a brief time, before this place kills us. And we go back, and wait. And we die."

"You die," she echoed hollowly, "And the ones you love don't know."

Alex shrugged, "Isn't it better not knowing?"

A cruel smile formed, "Yes."

Alex laughed, "Well, see Mom, now you understand—"

"I am not your mother."

"What?"

"I am Bessie Busybody. That is my maiden name, and the name I kept when I tried to forget. But forgetting isn't enough. I don't know you."

"Mom, it's me, Alex!"

"No, you are Sportacus 10. And someday _you will leave_."

Sportacus 10 stopped protesting. He knew he couldn't change her, and taking his cue, he left, closing the door behind him.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Busybody," his mumbled, his eyes watering.

Bessie Busybody opened up a box of chocolate-covered cherries and cried herself to sleep.

--Fin--

_Yeah, so this is just me going on my big "let's overemphasize the dialogue and have little description" that I've been on. I blame my Aladdin fics._

_In case anyone is confused, I imagined that there's no real college near LazyTown, so Robbie traveled far away, and once he left the town, he just… adjusted to "the real world." So it kinda explains why most of the townspeople are puppets._

_I used "babies" to mean young kids, "boys" to mean teens/adults. Blame Slaughter House 5 and Mary O'Hare's passionate rant. ("You were just babies in the war-- like the one's upstairs!")_

_If Bessie/Sportacus seem a little OOC, it's just because of the tension. Bessie rants, Sportacus is nervous and rambles._

_I actually haven't seen the first episode, or the one that mentions Sportacus 9. Oy, I hope this is good._

_Review?_


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